Name: Derek Flanzraich Anchor Nickname: Der Bear, Dflanz School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: Miami, Florida Height: 6’1” Role Model: My dad. Favorite Not-Widely-Know, but Still Incredible Phrase: Oopsy Doopsy. Favorite Disney Movie: Aladdin. Have a Trampoline: No. Favorite Hogwarts House: Gryffindor. Favorite Word Document Tool: Hyphenation. Favorite Number Between 3 and 9: 8. Favorite Number Between 1 and Infinity: 8 (Nice try). Favorite Primate: There was this orangutan named Jake at the Miami Jungle Island with whom, I think, we shared a special bond. It may have been the way he rolled around on the floor when his trailer gave him a palm tree leaf. Or the way he swung up to the top of his tower and made rapper poses while he thought no one was looking. I'm still unsure why. But I felt it. And it was beautiful.

Name:Alex Zimbler Anchor Nickname: Alex / Sasha School Year: 2010 Home Town: London, England Height: 5'6" Role Model: My dad Nationality: British, French, American Hidden Talent: My voice. Mariah fears me. Favorite Type of Pasta: Lasagna Favorite Time of Day: 11:58am Favorite Spice Girl: POsh Spice Favorite Not-So-Widely Known, but Still Incredible Phrase: Whoopsy Daisies Favorite Pick-Up Line: Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and even lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, just say yes!

Name: Molly Fitzpatrick Correspondent Nickname: Fitzy School Year: 2011 (Freshman) Home Town: Almost-But-Not-Manhattan, NJ. Height: 5'9", bitches. Role Model: Lucille Bluth Hidden Talent: Mixtape sommelier. Favorite Type of Pasta: Tricolor fusilli. Favorite Lost City: Cincinnati. Favorite Mortal Kombat Player: Chuck Norris. Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Isopropyl. Favorite Beatle: John Lennon. Favorite Beatlespawn: Dhani Harrison. Favorite Village Person: The Construction Worker.

Name:Nelson Greaves Correspondent Nickname: Scooter School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: Fresno, CA Height: 6'2" Role Model: Matt Damon Favorite type of pasta: I don't eat pasta. Favorite Lost City: Cleveland Favorite Mortal Kombat Player: Sub-Zero Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Virgin Strawberry Daiquiries Favorite Ethnic Slur: The one that mocks Norwegians Favorite Toy: Gun.

Name: Charles James Correspondent Nickname: Chibbles School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: Jackson, MS Height: 5'7" Role Model: Hulk Hogan Hidden Talent: Pool Shark Favorite Type of Pasta: Chef Boyardee Favorite Band: Goo Goo Dolls Favorite Lost City: Salt Lake City, UT Favorite Mortal Kombat Player: Chicana Favorite Alcoholic Drink: The Black Guy Favorite Ethnic Slur: Peckerwood Favorite Time of the Day: Business Time Favorite Pick-Up Line: "Bitch, get yo Ass in the car."

Name: Frances Martel Contributor Nickname: The Fight Hen School Year: 2009 (Junior) Home Town: Union City (aka Illegal Immigrant Paradise), NJ Height: Why are you asking? Racist. Role Model: Mom and Dad of course, but also Ann Coulter Celebrity Crush: Tucker Carlson Hidden Talent: I'm a master deep-sea angler Favorite TV Show: ¿Que Pasa, USA? Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Ouzo Favorite Ethnic Slur: Gringo Favorite Cuban Slang Word: Bitongo (a mama's boy; an immature/spoiled person) Favorite Pick-Up Line: "Wow, you're carrying a lot of milk in there!"

Name: Alexandra Petri Contributor Alias: Da Crumpet School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: Fond du Lac, WI Height: 5' 7"ish, but admitting to 5'8" Role Model: Darth Vader. Hidden Talent: The Accordion. Favorite Pasta: I'm anti-pasta. Favorite Band: Lordi, the Finnish monster-metal band who won Eurovision last year. Also, Franz Ferdinand. Favorite Skittle: Blue. Favorite Pickup Line: To my knowledge, I am free of communicable diseases. Favorite Drop-Off Line: Is it hot in here, or do you have some kind of glandular condition that causes you to sweat a lot? Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Short, Slightly Awkward Screw

Name: Edward Dumoulin Guest Correspondent Nickname: Fast Eddie School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: Marine, IL Height: 5'9'' Role Model: James Traficant Hidden Talent: World-class shuffleboard player. Star Sign: Capricorn Favorite Pasta: Fettuccine Favorite Spice Girl: Posh Spice Favorite Mario Kart Character: Peach! (Let's go!) Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Gin and Tonic (Only, of course, consumed outside the United States). Favorite City in Wyoming: Gillette Favorite Room at Harvard: Lamont 402 Favorite Tactical Bombing Aircraft: Junkers Ju 88 Favorite Living Political Theorist: Samuel P. Huntington

Name: Christina Giordano Guest Correspondent Nickname: lil' G School Year: 2010 (Sophomore) Home Town: North Reading, Massachusetts Height: 5'4" Role Model: My mother, of course! Star Sign: Capricorn - that's a sea goat, peeps. Favorite type of pasta: This is a trick question for Italians. Jeez a loo! …But I really like angel hair. Favorite Band: Goo Goo Dolls Favorite Lost City: Atlantis is the bomb. Favorite Spice Girl: Ginger (or as we say in Beantown, Jinjah) Favorite Mortal Kombat Player: Sonja Blade Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Sangria on ice with a slice of orange

Name: Alison Rich Guest Correspondent Nickname: ? School Year: 2009 (Junior) Home Town: POrt Washington, NY

Name: JP Stilz Guest Correspondent Nickname: Johnson School Year: 2011 (Freshman) Home Town: Versailles, Kentucky Height: 6'3" Role Model: Dirk Diggler Hidden Talent: Hiding Favorite Type of Pasta: Pasta is pretentious Favorite Mortal Kombat Player: Pacman Favorite Mario Kart Player: Pacman Favorite Alcoholic Drink: Bourboun. Straight. Like I shoot. That is to say, I shoot straight. I am not gay. Favorite Ethnic Slur: Cracker Favorite Toy: Pacman Favorite Pick-Up Line: Prolonged, intense stare